So very amazing what a few months,the right level of meds and a willingness to change has wrought in my life.
First thing is physically. in early May I started seeing a nutritionist to see if I could come up with a plan for losing weight. She started me on a basically paleo meal plan. I lost 14 pounds the first week! On my O-Fficial weigh-in this week I was down 34 pounds! I have gone from 368 lbs to 334 lbs in just a couple of months!!!! I have also lowered my insulin intake. Used to be 5 shots/day. I have since totally cut out using Novolog, which is a fast acting insulin, that I would take before meals. I have also cut down on my Levemir, which is a long acting insulin, which I take 2x/day. I have lowered my two doses 10 units each. My blood sugars have been FANTASTIC! There are of course a few high ones but VERY few of them. Most of the time they are in between 80-120 right where they should be. I have had more lows since I started this than at anytime before. That lead to stopping my Novolog. Physically I feel FANTASTIC!!! Which leads to…
Mentally I feel FANTASTICALLY AWESOME!!! I had my Zoloft upped to 100mg per day.This has greatly diminished my depression. While the Zoloft has helped so has the support I have been getting from people on fb as well as my wonderful friends and family IRL.Their compliments and encouragement have given me the willpower to stay on target.
Another thing that has helped mentally is that I am finally over my obsession with the girl I had wanted to be with for the last three years. She created distance because she was afraid she was sending the wrong signals.There was no texting and I rarely saw her at work for about two months. I finally had to accept that we could be friends but that it was not going to go any further than that. We are still good friends and are finally able to talk and hang out a bit more. Things are good there. Which leads to…
Work is going so very,very FANTASTIC (yes I know I’m using that word a lot but it seems to be the best way to describe things right now.)My boss and I are getting along swimmingly. She made me chocolate covered bacon so how in the HELL could I NOT get along with her! We were chopping bacon for our snack shop special food day, which was a potato bar. I had said how I had always wanted to try chocolate-covered bacon. She turns to me and says “I will make you chocolate-covered bacon Jim.” I told her if she wasn’t married I would marry her,because that sure as hell sounded like a proposal to me! We laughed about it.
This has lead to a great thawing of the icy divide between us, We have got closer and are now good friends.We were both going through things in our lives at the time she became my boss and the stresses from those outside influences got channeled into our battles at work. We both made mistakes and were bullheaded. We have recently admitted we both shared a part of the blame and mistakes made and have agreed to start anew and work TOGETHER from here on out.
She has been so very awesome AND instrumental in my weight loss and healthy eating. She started by giving me recipes and suggestions and things that would be acceptable on my diet. I in turn put some of these ideas into my cooking on the grill during our cookout days at work. I felt it would rude to eat these dishes in front of her without sharing. So I asked if she would like some also. She readily agreed and so was born our special lunches on cook out days. She is contributing to by making dishes at home and bringing them to work for the both of us.She is a great cook!
So yes there have been some really big changes in my life. Life is so much better right now and I am the happiest I’ve been in a long time.
I wish I could be happy for you, I really do. I mean that’s how good friends are supposed to be right? But I guess I’m not being a very good friend right now and I truly am sorry. I just can’t take being in the same room when you are both in there so I leave when I am able because I need to isolate myself. Maybe in time I will be able to handle it but not right now.
You said you were trying to create space so I speak very little to you so as not to bug you even though it kills me. I am trying to do what you want and give you all the space you need.
I wish I could be a bigger person than what I am at the moment but I’m just not able to at this time. I know it’s not your fault. You never led me on or used me in any way. I knew from the onset I never had a chance, but even though I tried to fight it, I couldn’t stop myself from falling. I am after all a dreamer.
I hope that someday soon I can be the person and friend that I know I should be but that day is not today.
Not this again!!! I keep trying to stay on an even keel but it’s really hard. Obsessing racing thoughts…not as bad as last year but still enough to screw with me. I think I have a med check coming up so maybe I need an increase in my happy pill.
Of course if I could win the lottery this would all get better because I could get away for awhile.
So I asked if I was still on my plan of assistance today and I was told yes. She hasn’t had a chance to talk to her Supervisor yet and then they need to talk to HR.
I was written up today for running out of Toilet paper last Tuesday.I’m supposed to do inventory on Fridays and I did that Friday in the afternoon. She left at 1PM before I was finished. So I didn’t get it to her. She said I could have emailed her. She was going to the zoo with her kid so I highly doubt that she would have been able to make an order from the zoo. I gave her the order on Monday and she placed the order. On Tuesday I went shopping and when I got back she was pissed off and said I needed to go to Wal*Mart and get some toilet paper,which I did. When I took the rolls around to the bathrooms there were three stalls that had two rolls in them. if they would have used there brains they would have maybe come up with the idea that maybe JUST maybe they could have taken ONE roll from the three stalls wqith 2 rolls and used it in the employee restroom.
So today I argued we weren’t out because we still had more than enough rolls in several of the bathrooms. I was told the employee rest room had run out and some people had to use KLEENEX!!!!! I said we weren’t out that they could have gone back and used ONE of the rolls from the stalls that had TWO rolls in them. NOOO we were completely OUT!!!!! No you weren’t!
I finally gave up because bashing someone’s empty air-headed skull against a cabinet might get me a prison term and I wouldn’t do well in Prison.