Hi it’s me again, I mean who else would it be really.
Bear with me on this one,I promise it will be the last post of it’s kind for any foreseeable future.
My last foray into the possibility of entering the dating world has not worked out and frankly I’m pretty much done with the whole trying to date thing. I blame absolutely no one but myself.
I know I haven’t tried that hard or in fact that many times and that is a lot of the problem. I just don’t have that killer instinct that makes you go after something you really want. There is just something inherently missing in me. I can’t just dive right in and go for it. Instead I waste too much time trying to figure out if I should or shouldn’t and if I do wondering if I will be shunned by the girl of interest. Taking so much time always leads to the place i can’t escape. “The Friend Zone.”(dee-doo dee-doo dee-doo dee-doo) Once in there there is no escape(well at least for me.) I have a great many friends.
Hell even lab rats don’t push levers after an electric shock or two.
Also I have learned that ” You’re a really (great,sweet,wonderful,etc.) guy.” is chick speak for “You will never see me naked.”
I have my permanent reservation at Table 9 with the other mutants, I guess I always have.
Oh well I guess that is all for now. Thanks for taking the time to read my demented ramblings.
Well the journey has ended, pretty much where and how I expected it would. It was a road I had never really taken but now I can say that I have been down that way before.
I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape, to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There’s a burning in my pride, and a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me, just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space
Hi Blog it’s me again. The Dementia part of your name is really coming in to play these days. The facebook obsession isn’t going away but I needed a a place that was a little more private for this update so that’s why I’m back here with you. You see there’s this girl…there’s always a girl I know but not there hasn’t been one like this for awhile. While I’m playing it cool on the outside, the inside has been a bit of a tempest. <sarcasm>Yeah I’m following the same old routine and the same path I always have so at least I’m in familiar territory and that’s good right? </sarcasm> Then last night out of nowhere the fucking iceberg that sank the Titanic showed up out of the fog and we hit that fucker full steam, head on( apply directly to head.)
For some reason I got it into the space in my cranial region (lots of space up there ya know) that there may be someone else showing interest in The Girl. I have always known this was a possibility because, hey I go for the creme de la creme when it comes to falling for someone (OK I have had one or two mis-steps but who hasn’t?) The only problem with this is that it’s someone we work with (oh yeah did I forget to mention that I work with The Girl.) The seed got planted in my head and no matter how much I tried I couldn’t get it out of my fucking head. It wasn’t just a little mouse gnawing on a small corner of consciousness but a fucking T-Rex chomping down in the middle and shaking the brain meats to make sure they knew they were being attacked.
This resulted in me going over the edge (kinda like the Marshall family when they encountered the greatest earthquake ever known.) I worked myself into a state of mind that put my stomach in knots( which they are still somewhat in right now) and getting only three hours of sleep, although the hours were not consecutive. Fun day at work yay!
I know it’s totally fucking ridiculous( see how I spelled that right? It’s R-I not R-E) but I have a great imagination. There may be some truth to because the guy is recently single which I found out today,plus he’s younger and better looking than I am (I find there a lot of guys that fit this description the older I get, weird) and he really is a nice guy. I guess It’s just the fact that he works at the same place that bugs me. If it was someone outside of work I wouldn’t have to see it(if it actually happens) everyday.
And that in a nutshell (nutcase?) is how my mind works.
I really do need to ask her out.
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling, “Make it go away,” just make a smile
Come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered, “How can you do this to me?”
I know I haven’t been around much lately and you probably have figured out that there is someone else. You’re right. I guess since I’m confessing I should tell you their name.
Facebook.
See Facebook has a lot of bells and whistles that you don’t. I can add friends and chat with people. There are games to play. Oh are there games to play, and there in lays the problem.
I’m spending to much time with Facebook these days, it has in fact become an addiction and an obsession. I’m ignoring other things i like to do to spend time planting things,feeding virtual pets, breeding virtual zoo animals and dropping little gems to make them explode.All the while ignoring you.
I think I need to back off from the new person for awhile. I can’t leave entirely because I have to much invested and I really do enjoy its company, but there needs to be a little separation for now. I can’t promise that I’ll be spending my extra time with you but I’ll try to be around a little more for you.
Guess we’ll just have to see if I can fight the addiction/obsession.
While most of the time it seems right there are others like right now when the goon babble has gone into overdrive in my head. I may have misread the situation and this all has been just wishful thinking. Let’s face it I’m good at that. I guess the only thing I can do is try to remain optimistic and see what if anything transpires.
Nothing has changed just the voices in my head at the moment.
