Not this again!!! I keep trying to stay on an even keel but it’s really hard. Obsessing racing thoughts…not as bad as last year but still enough to screw with me. I think I have a med check coming up so maybe I need an increase in my happy pill.
Of course if I could win the lottery this would all get better because I could get away for awhile.
So I asked if I was still on my plan of assistance today and I was told yes. She hasn’t had a chance to talk to her Supervisor yet and then they need to talk to HR.
I was written up today for running out of Toilet paper last Tuesday.I’m supposed to do inventory on Fridays and I did that Friday in the afternoon. She left at 1PM before I was finished. So I didn’t get it to her. She said I could have emailed her. She was going to the zoo with her kid so I highly doubt that she would have been able to make an order from the zoo. I gave her the order on Monday and she placed the order. On Tuesday I went shopping and when I got back she was pissed off and said I needed to go to Wal*Mart and get some toilet paper,which I did. When I took the rolls around to the bathrooms there were three stalls that had two rolls in them. if they would have used there brains they would have maybe come up with the idea that maybe JUST maybe they could have taken ONE roll from the three stalls wqith 2 rolls and used it in the employee restroom.
So today I argued we weren’t out because we still had more than enough rolls in several of the bathrooms. I was told the employee rest room had run out and some people had to use KLEENEX!!!!! I said we weren’t out that they could have gone back and used ONE of the rolls from the stalls that had TWO rolls in them. NOOO we were completely OUT!!!!! No you weren’t!
I finally gave up because bashing someone’s empty air-headed skull against a cabinet might get me a prison term and I wouldn’t do well in Prison.
I am angry these days.Some days I feel that anger is almost overtaking the depression and empty feeling I have most days now. I’m angry at home. I’m angry that I’m not allowed to say anything to the person that yells and screams and bitches about others when they themselves do absolutely nothing. I’m angry that nobody listens here also.
At work I’m angry that in addition to doing my job running the snack shop that I also have to take care of the janitorial crew, because heaven knows we wouldn’t want to interrupt all the puzzle putting together that is going on these days. Everybody else got to bitch and whine their way out of the fucking job so why not me? It’s improved a little since there has been an understanding that one certain person doesn’t have to call me about EVERY FUCKING little thing every 30 FUCKING seconds, but I still have to put up with one of the consumers who won’t listen to a fucking theing I say or even let me finish a fucking sentence.
Also on the work front, I’m soooo fucking sorry that I didn’t put in a request four weeks in advance asking to leave fifteen minutes early for an appointment my mother asked if I could take her to at 4:30 PM the previous afternoon. In the future I will try to be precognizant and adhere to the fucking policy on leave requests. I guess since unlike others that abuse the policy and make up my time I can understand why you would be put out that I needed to ask for this on short notice.
I guess i’m angry about my relationship status too although I’m not sure if it’s anger or just flat out depression and confusion. Nothing ever goes beyond just being friends and ya know what? After awhile that really begins to hurt. I have to realize that true to the old saying :”it’s me not you.” It’s my fault and I don’t know what to do to fix it..
Had plans to go to the zoo with D the guy I work with on Sat. his girlfriend,MK, my friend Angie that works with D’s girlfriend and Angie’s little girl. D had been in a great mood all morning joking and having a good time while we waited for the girls to get a hold of us to go.
When we got the call D said no. I asked him why and he just shook his head. So I called Angie and let her know we weren’t going and to have a good time.
Later while D lets me have it saying it was my fault for not giving him the option to take his PRN med that he was THINKING about taking..WTF!!!! He hadn’t been mad or shown any agression or anything that would indicate that he needed the PRN. He had been extremely polite and helpful all morning.
So we stayed in all day while he stood in his room listening to thrash metal and Lynrd Skynrd.
I was really looking forward to going to the zoo and hanging out with Angie and her little girl. I love hanging out with them and after the week I’ve had,I needed some fun time,especially hanging out with Angie. It’s basically the only time I get to hang out and enjoy life while being able to get away from stuff these days. My one brief moment of time to just have fun.